Exploitative
by serpentnine
Summary: If he were a woman, she wouldn’t put up with this.


Exploitative

Be ye warned: thar be sillyfic in these here waters.

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It had taken Alucard a week and a half to organize his approach, once he realized what was going on. Oh, he knew he'd have to confront Integra eventually, but how to go about it? He'd have to warm her up to the subject, ease her into it.

He could start off by discussing the weather. Clear nights weren't that common in England, so he could wait till a nice one and then pop in with some offhand comment about the moon. And then he would turn to her in the moonlight, on the balcony with the wisteria coiling up pillars, and he would present his case in his best voice, deep and suave. And she'd nod consideringly and puff on her cigar once or twice, and then she'd agree -- Integra was a woman who knew logic when she saw it, after all.

Naturally, things didn't go quite as planned.

"Master." Feeling the need to be particularly considerate, given the delicate nature of his declaration, he announced his presence as he entered Integra's office via the usual expediency of dropping through her ceiling.

"Alucard," Integra lowered the teacup she'd been bringing to her lips. "Did you decide which one you preferred?"

"It is a... huh?"

Integra frowned. "You should have had three pints of blood delivered this evening. Did you find the heparin, the CPDA-1, or the sodium citrate more palatable?"

Alucard hadn't been to his chambers that evening at all, come to think of it. He'd been on the roof, mulling over his newfound realizations, since sunset.

Intrgra blew on her tea to cool it, brows drawing together as Alucard's face remained blank. "Alucard, we discussed this just last week." She set the delicate cup down. "Hellsing's blood lab was concerned about the high levels of adenine in CPDA-1 -- they wanted to try some of the older anticoagulants to ensure you weren't..."

This wasn't the way it was supposed to go, not at all. He opened his mouth. "What a perfect night," he interjected.

"...building up a toxic dose." Integra finished, eyeing him warily.

Alucard hesitated. The whole conversation had gone much more smoothly in his mind. Perhaps the location was wrong? "Master, let us continue this discussion on the balcony," he invited.

"Alucard... can you remember which ones you drank?" she said, making no move to get up.

Bugger. He'd just have to say it here. "I've been reading, and I think..."

Integra raised an eyebrow.

"I think I am being sexually impugned."

Silence, for a long moment.

"You can rest assured, Alucard, that I will be having stern words with the lab in the morning."

"No, that is not..."

Integra rose from her seat, concern crossing her normally implacable features. "There are no pressing orders tonight, Alucard. Perhaps you'd best take the night off -- go try to get some sleep."

"But I..."

"I'll have Walter bring you some of your normal blood supply." Integra moved around the edge of her desk and took a hesitant few steps towards him.

Alucard crossed his arms over his chest and glared out the window. This was rapidly becoming a terrible night.

"It's alright, Alucard. You've survived worse than a little bad blood." Integra reached out as if to pat his shoulder, then clearly thought better of the notion and dropped her hand.

At least this was a little closer to the plan -- both of them, standing together in the moonlight. She didn't have a cigar, but perhaps that was best, given the subject matter. "Master..." he tried to remember how it was supposed to go next. Frankly, he'd deliberated more on the part where she agreed with him than on argument bit.

"Alucard," said Integra, her voice taking on the soothing quality people instinctively used with children or the fractious elderly. "Why don't you tell me why you feel you're being... molested?"

Ah, that was much better. "Haven't you ever wondered, Master, why my power releases are called _releases_? Or -- or why they're most readily symbolized by _removal of my clothing_?"

Integra made a very small choking sound.

He plunged ahead. He was committed to it now. "I have no choice but to obey you, Master, in everything. I'm... I'm allowed _release_ only when you will it. And when all my _inhibitions_ -- the seals -- have been released, I inevitably appear _in bondage gear_. Master, how is any of it _not_ deliberately sexually exploitative?"

Integra still said nothing, but he caught her glancing back at her desk, perhaps yearning for one of the cigars kept in the humidor there. Well, yearning either for a cigar or the panic button wired into the desk; he couldn't be certain. He sighed. "If I were a woman, you would not stand for any of this," he muttered.

The silence stretched between them. Then: "You're serious?" Integra asked.

He cast her a wounded look.

Integra slowly took a deep breath. "Alright, Alucard. Would it be better if I ordered you to wear whatever you'd like, at any time you'd like? Provided your choices aren't distracting or dangerous to those around you, of course. And we'll decide on something different to call your... releases," -- He was gratified to see a faint blush rise to her cheeks -- "We'll call them... ah, 'power restrictions.' Would that help?"

"But what about...?"

"I won't do anything about the timing of the... unbinding of your power restrictions, since I'm fairly certain allowing you to control your own would result in the flaming ruination of all of England."

He frowned. She said 'flaming ruination' as if that would be a bad thing. Still -- "I can wear anything I want?"

Integra pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alucard, I was of the impression that your physical appearance was under your own determination to begin with. But yes, you can wear whatever you'd like."

Alucard grinned. The shadows that formed his clothing warped and merged, souls writhing as they settled into a... very different form.

A pause. "I think the troops might find that outfit rather distracting, Alucard."

"Perhaps I will only wear it around you, then."

She smiled slowly. "I thought you didn't want to be sexually exploited anymore."

The difference, to him, was glaring. "I don't want to be symbolically exploited, Master. This, however, is quite straightforward."

"I see." Integra's lips twitched. "In that case, please go wait for me. I'll be finished here in five minutes. Oh, and Alucard –"

He paused, already halfway through the wall.

"—no more women's liberation texts for you."

Smirking, he vanished, his smile the last to disappear. Integra sighed and shook her head to herself, just a little. She finished her tea and jotted down a quick memo for Hellsing's blood lab.

And then headed for her bedroom.

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Note: Because seriously -- he becomes more powerful when he _takes his clothes off._ If he were a girl, wouldn't that be more than just a little offensive? Err. Yes. ;)


End file.
